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      If I could turn back time to change something in my past...I would ask less questions and try to be less curious about the world. As a small child I was the student that all teachers feared, at least at my church anyways. I was the questioner. I always wanted to know more than the average christian child. Of course mine were the sort of questions that could never be answered except for with the simple phrase, "Well you must have faith, Ashley. If you pray about your questions you will receive an answer." What a bunch of bologna to tell a six year old. I prayed all the damn time and would sit there, knees becoming sore, waiting for some sort of answer. I had a ton of faith as a child. I believed in everything and that anything was possible. But I think it was the no answers back from God that made me question every other belief I had. I still went to church and kept asking my questions, always receiving the same answer or a "I never thought about it that way..." type response. I felt like no one really knew anything after a while, like no ones prayers were being answered and we were all on our own trying to make up answers that made the most sense to the things we didn't know. At the age of eight in the church you were said to be at the age of accountability and were able to be baptized. I wasn't all excited like my peers had been, to be plunged under water and have the responsibility of making the right choices in life. I asked my parents if I could first read the Bible to make sure that that was what I wanted. They encouraged me to do as I wanted but told me that I did not have to know all the answers to life for this event, I could still make mistakes as long as I repented before I died. I waited a few months and desperately tried to read the scriptures. At 8 this was not an easy task. It isn't an easy task in general for any age. I didn't understand half of what I read and when I thought it meant one thing my father would correct me and say it meant another. I gave in and took the plunge. It was a memorable, proud day for my parents, while a stressful and scary one for me. I was happy afterwards, but really who isn't happy to see all of their family and friends in one place enjoying food and congratulating you.

      I'm getting off topic, but I thought it important for the viewer to know that I'm not the type of person to just believe anything right away. I like evidence. If that can't be provided I don't want lies either. I want truth. Faith is not truth. Now if one tells me that they have faith in something but that they know that they could be wrong. That is truth. I don't understand why so many believers can't just admit that. This was part of the argument between me and my mom. She thinks that faith and truth are one in the same when I believe they are not. Just a difference in opinion. 

     Being the curious person I am I like to watch documentaries, news, animal planet, history channel, etc. I enjoy learning, most of the time, if taught in the correct manner. If I'm not actually curious about something then it is hard to teach it to me but if I want to know then I am an easy student. Recently I've gotten into documentaries about the oil and food situations. Alot of it has to do with the world coming to an end because we are not using our resources correctly and really we care more about consumerism than saving future generations and the planet we all call home. These documentaries make me want to get out there and do something, but what I can really do? I know there are the simple things, such as eating organically, driving as little as possible, not flying, turning off the lights, taking shorter showers, turning the faucet off, recycling, etc. I know that by doing these things myself I will set the example to others, but I still feel like it isn't enough and at the same time I feel like just trying to do these things will be quite the challenge.
    Life would just be much simplier if I wasn't curious. I wouldn't feel the need to change my consumer habits or change my lifestyle. I would just keep eating endlessly, guzzling gas, and leaving all the lights on while I sleep for fear of the dark. I would be exceptionally happy as a clueless individual. Now I just feel guilty everytime I turn the key to start my engine or eat a product that I know shouldn't even be on the shelves. I wouldn't have to run in a panic up the stairs from the dark depths below or hide under the covers in fear of the mysterious dark at night. If only I wasn't so curious.