I'm skipping class today. Yes, I feel horrible about it and am regretting every moment of it, but at the same time I feel like I need it. The stress is really getting to me lately plus I haven't had one day off since school started. I've either been working, going to school, canoeing, grocery shopping, bowling, homework, etc. A couple of those were recreational but still I haven't had a day where I could just relax and chill at home all day. I do have work today at 4pm. The beginning of the day can still be enjoyed, though. I am going to use my day wisely to get some work done, but at a leisurely pace. No pressure today. Hopefully tomorrow can be the same except work in the afternoon.
Oh so I originally wanted to talk about my topic for Papermaking and how far I had come. I want to discuss my lacking ability to let my emotions out. I hold it all in. I let out a little every now and again, but only enough to persuade the viewer. It gets overwhelming sometimes not being able to let it all out and eventually leads to breakdowns with me crying alone for an hour or so. These use to occur seldomly but in the past year have become more and more often. I can't really remember a time in my life when I did fully express how I was feeling. I have never been one to get excited, surprised, angry, etc. I feel those things, but others don't always see it. Maybe I just can't properly express myself, or maybe I just haven't found a person who can really see me, who really makes me comfortable enough around them to be myself.
Thoughts on turning this into 6 panels...symbolism: locks, keys, combination numbers, colors, mazes, maps. It can tell the journey of finding this person or maybe having the power myself the whole time. Use mazes/maps to show the journey. (treasure map maybe?) Maybe I keep looking for a key but really all I needed what a combination number or vice versa. Colors can be either darker or more opaque until I reach the end and unlock the emotions, which are then bright full colors.
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