What to do....

Critique was today and it sucked ass. I knew it would be horrible because a) i hadn't come up with  a concept(geez am i stupid) and b) my compositions weren't really thought through(they were done last second) Teacher says I need to figure out what metamorphosis means to me and I need to try not to use animals or plants to portray it. There goes all that research I did. I also need to elaborate more on the changes in my life and what I am trying to portray. I am horrible with coming up with concepts cause I hate to sound like a whiner.
My life is great compared to others. Yeah I work two part time jobs, while attending school full-time and keeping myself fed and clean. But others endure way worse. I have a schedule and so far it is working fine. I don't get to visit my family as much and activities with friends are less as well as relaxing time. It is worth all the sacrifices and work to not be living at home, I think. Home is hectic, crazy, loud, busy, and involves too many responsibilities. I tried to say that my piece was about growing up but I haven't really grown up, I've just taken on less responsibilities. I only have to take care of myself now, while before I was helping take care of 6 younger siblings and my parents. I was always worried about the kids and what was going on in their lives. Are they being bullied, doing their homework, getting good grades, having troubles with friends, etc. After my grandparents passed away I was even more worried about everyone. My parents started fighting and not communicating to each other, except through me. I'm their oldest of seven so I am the one they talk to about their troubles. So I began to worry that they would divorce and I felt it was up to me to fix it for the kids. I knew I would be fine, I just want the kids to be fine too. I'm more maternal than I thought. Not saying that my parents aren't adequate cause they are great parents. Just that I worried too much about others, mostly my family, and issues that were not mine to worry about. Like I would worry about how much money my family would spend. I knew math and I knew about how much money my father made a year. I knew that we sorta had a budget but didn't always follow it exactly. It worried me. I never really worried about myself. I didn't care so much about the troubles in my own life. They seemed minute in comparison to others. I had troubles as a child, such as losing lots of friends, moving several times, making worse and worse grades in school, potentally developing diabetes or losing my pancreas altogether, watching my diet, fighting with my lack of memory, paying attention for any length of time during class, losing my grandparents in car accident, not being able to explain to people why I didn't want to learn to drive, etc. My family even thought it strange that I didn't care to drive, didn't care to date, didn't care to make tons of friends. Now that I look back I think it was because I didn't want more people to worry about. More people to love... and then eventually lose. I'm still the same in that way. I don't like to depend on others. I won't ask for help unless I am at a point that I don't have a choice.
Back to the point...I haven't really grown up. I have replaced my old responsibities with new different ones. Instead of taking care of others, I have to take care of myself now. Before, I took care of myself, but my mom and dad always made sure I had the utilities to do so. Now I am paying for those as well as my tuition, supplies, books, etc. I have to make sure I have food in the cupboard, laundry soap for the washer, sponges to clean dishes. I paid for my tuition last year but not all my supplies and food. All this money makes me question if this school is even worth it some days. All these loans are my new worries. Kids were replaced by finances. Don't even get me started on the fact that the state doesn't count me as independent until I'm 24. So no matter how hard I try to be independent legally I can't be. Ever since I was little I dreamed of moving out of my house and being on my own. Not that I didn't love my home, I just wanted to be on my own. I didn't dream of weddings and babies. I wanted an apartment or house with a dog, maybe.